"Hello! Possums!"
Dame Edna Everage Here!
"People are always coming up to me and saying,
'You . . . look . . . Gorgeous!  They say that,
yes! . . . they do!
And I don't mind telling you!"
"But you see they feel as if they know me, or at least they
think they do!"
Whenever I am anywhere a bit cosmopolitan, like New York
or Los Angeles, people give me spooky looks as though I am
a long - lost relation and, let's face it, I am a survivor:  a
fully paid up, card - carrying survivor with more than
a few tales to tell!
"Being a Mega-Star!  I've been around the world,
more than a few times!"

"One of my favorite places to visit time and time again is
the lovely island of Hawaii, with it's 'volcanic eruptions'
'tong wars' 'Fire Goddesses' and more than a few Polynesian
Festivals.  Through my visits to the 'Island' I have become
friends with many of the locals, not to mention a good
share of the 'natives!'"
"One of nearest and dearest friends is Kuulei Burke, a hula
teacher at the local elementary school.  A rather hefty lady,
held in awe by many of her students.  Weighting in at
250 pounds she easily throws her weight around, literally!
She also wears her hair in a large bun, perched right on top
of her head ~ which I thought was rather appealing, if
you're a bird!  Or Carmen Maranda, if you nestle
some fruit in there!
"While visiting her class one afternoon, many, many years ago a little girl came running up to me, intrigued by my appearance.  She began pulling at my frock, to which I asked her, quite
politely to . . . STOP!

I went on to say, I'm afraid you have me confused with some other Mega-Star! 

Darling, my name is Edna, I'm not Ethel!"

"Clearly she was taken with my butterfly specs ~ or 'face
furniture' as I call them."
Later Mrs. Burke informed me that they had a budding little
"mega-star" in their mists.  The little girl had just won the
school's talent contest singing, "The Lullaby of Broadway."
As the little girl smiled up at me, I noticed a certain sparkle
in her eyes.  There was something 'different' about her.
That precious face!
Perhaps Mrs. Burke was right!
As I spoke to the little girl, she mentioned the "applause"
and something about the "great white way" ~ could
there possibly be an area of the island, that I wasn't
familiar with?  How could that be?
By this time, the rest of the children in the room were
starting to crowd around, and so I leaned down and
whispered in her ear, "Follow your dreams my dear,
and . . . 'never forget your roots!'"
~ ~ ~
And clearly she hasn't . . . I don't mind telling you!

Foxy Brown

Fire-engine Red

Champagne Blonde

~ ~ ~
Years later, while back in my native homeland of Australia,
I happened to catch that annoying Barbara Walters,
chattering away on the tele.  Once again, she had
managed to corner another poor soul . . . 
into one of her dreadful exchanges.
God!  I hope she doesn't ask this one, what sort
of tree, she'd like to be?
After consulting my "aussie" channel guide, I was just
about ready to switch over to the "Mel Gibson" movie
marathon, when Barbara's guest mentioned growing up
in Hawaii!
I suddenly realized, that the child who had pulled on my frock
that day, was none other than 'little Bette' Midler!"

"I was a funny looking kid.  I wore these glasses with the little cat's eyes.  They weren't on a chain.  Thank God they weren't on a chain.  It was bad, but it wasn't that bad.  I had my little frizzy hair.  I tell you these glasses really really murdered my love life.  Really - really rough.  I was plain.  I had a big chest.  I was very developed, I started developing early.  And in those days, I don't know what it's like now.  But the kids were just merciless, if you were starting to develop a figure.  Even the girls . . . "

Throughout the remainder of the interview they talked 
about many things . . . 
Afterwards, I felt sorry for little Barbara Walters . . . at
least when I 'smile' I don't get a backache!
Well, Possums!  I really must see if I can catch a little
bit of that "Mel Gibson" marathon!
From time to time, I'd like to share with you, my
own personal "Views . . . from a Broad!"  And
so you haven't heard the last of me!
Next time, I'll tell you how I wrestled this "gorgeous!"
lizard that I'm holding!
~ ~ ~
And "Bette" thought she was the only one wearing
those "cats' eye glasses!"

Candice Bergen

Ella Fitzgerald

Reba McEntire


Unfortunately, this poor girl wasn't
as lucky!  Her glasses WERE on a chain!

"Everyone thought I was a weirdo.  They were off cheerleading and I wasn't even slightly interested in those things.  It was difficult being interested in theater when everyone else wanted to be a drill leader."

Can you name this famous celebrity?
And . . . her connection to Bette?
( click here to see if you're right! )




Hit Counter