Dame Edna!

"Hello! Possums!"

Dame Edna Everage Here!

Mega-Star!

"People are always coming up to me and saying,

'You . . . look . . . Gorgeous! They say that,

yes! . . . they do!

And I don't mind telling you!"

"But you see they feel as if they know me, or at least they

think they do!"

Whenever I am anywhere a bit cosmopolitan, like New York

or Los Angeles, people give me spooky looks as though I am

a long - lost relation and, let's face it, I am a survivor: a

fully paid up, card - carrying survivor with more than

a few tales to tell!

"Being a Mega-Star! I've been around the world,

more than a few times!"

"One of my favorite places to visit time and time again is

the lovely island of Hawaii, with it's 'volcanic eruptions'

'tong wars' 'Fire Goddesses' and more than a few Polynesian

Festivals. Through my visits to the 'Island' I have become

friends with many of the locals, not to mention a good

share of the 'natives!'"

"One of nearest and dearest friends is Kuulei Burke, a hula

teacher at the local elementary school. A rather hefty lady,

held in awe by many of her students. Weighting in at

250 pounds she easily throws her weight around, literally!

She also wears her hair in a large bun, perched right on top

of her head ~ which I thought was rather appealing, if

you're a bird! Or Carmen Maranda, if you nestle

some fruit in there!

"While visiting her class one afternoon, many, many years ago a little girl came running up to me, intrigued by my appearance. She began pulling at my frock, to which I asked her, quite

politely to . . . STOP!

I went on to say, I'm afraid you have me confused with some other Mega-Star!

Darling, my name is Edna, I'm not Ethel!"

"Clearly she was taken with my butterfly specs ~ or 'face

furniture' as I call them."

Later Mrs. Burke informed me that they had a budding little

"mega-star" in their mists. The little girl had just won the

school's talent contest singing, "The Lullaby of Broadway."

As the little girl smiled up at me, I noticed a certain sparkle

in her eyes. There was something 'different' about her.

That precious face!

Perhaps Mrs. Burke was right!

As I spoke to the little girl, she mentioned the "applause"

and something about the "great white way" ~ could

there possibly be an area of the island, that I wasn't

familiar with? How could that be?

By this time, the rest of the children in the room were

starting to crowd around, and so I leaned down and

whispered in her ear, "Follow your dreams my dear,

and . . . 'never forget your roots!'"

~ ~ ~

And clearly she hasn't . . . I don't mind telling you!


Foxy Brown	Fire-engine Red	Champagne Blonde

~ ~ ~

Years later, while back in my native homeland of Australia,

I happened to catch that annoying Barbara Walters,

chattering away on the tele. Once again, she had

managed to corner another poor soul . . .

into one of her dreadful exchanges.

God! I hope she doesn't ask this one, what sort

of tree, she'd like to be?

After consulting my "aussie" channel guide, I was just

about ready to switch over to the "Mel Gibson" movie

marathon, when Barbara's guest mentioned growing up

in Hawaii!

I suddenly realized, that the child who had pulled on my frock

that day, was none other than 'little Bette' Midler!"

"I was a funny looking kid. I wore these glasses with the little cat's eyes. They weren't on a chain. Thank God they weren't on a chain. It was bad, but it wasn't that bad. I had my little frizzy hair. I tell you these glasses really really murdered my love life. Really - really rough. I was plain. I had a big chest. I was very developed, I started developing early. And in those days, I don't know what it's like now. But the kids were just merciless, if you were starting to develop a figure. Even the girls . . . "

Throughout the remainder of the interview they talked

about many things . . .

Afterwards, I felt sorry for little Barbara Walters . . . at

least when I 'smile' I don't get a backache!

Well, Possums! I really must see if I can catch a little

bit of that "Mel Gibson" marathon!

From time to time, I'd like to share with you, my

own personal "Views . . . from a Broad!" And

so you haven't heard the last of me!

Next time, I'll tell you how I wrestled this "gorgeous!"

lizard that I'm holding!

~ ~ ~

And "Bette" thought she was the only one wearing

those "cats' eye glasses!"


Candice Bergen	Ella Fitzgerald	Reba McEntire

Unfortunately, this poor girl wasn't

as lucky! Her glasses WERE on a chain!

"Everyone thought I was a weirdo. They were off cheerleading and I wasn't even slightly interested in those things. It was difficult being interested in theater when everyone else wanted to be a drill leader."

Can you name this famous celebrity?

And . . . her connection to Bette?

( click here to see if you're right! )